it was like his penis was on wheels.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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