I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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