So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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