wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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