I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
