I think I just saw someone hide a body.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You brought string cheese to the strip club
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Randomize
