her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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