Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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