so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
