he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
