OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
