I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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