i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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