is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
