I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
