Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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