It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Im part way to drunk.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
