We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
