She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
