Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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