So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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