haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
