She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
