try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
