A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
