Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
