I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
