im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
