so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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