people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I need a beard to bite.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
