Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
