Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
