he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
