dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
