after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My feet surprised me
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
