So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
