Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
