He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
