The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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