I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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