Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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