dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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