So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
