I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
everyone is single if you try hard enough
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
