Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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