he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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