Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
