fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
