Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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