Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
