I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
