Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
